Reading this was like going back in time! I can't believe next year will be my 10th anniversary of leaving Catholicism (and essentially Christianity) behind. "These days, my relationship with Mystery and its endless discoveries feel more certain than the theological truths I used to study or debate over." YES!!! You couldn't have put it better and I couldn't agree more. Thank you for sharing this, Minnow. You'd be surprised (or perhaps kinda un-surprised) at how many folks share a similar story in this country.
you're right. i think I was writing this to those who are on the cusp or have gone through this. having wrestled with it in this may makes me feel so much more alive than just believing the orthodoxy
It can indeed be terrifying to question long-held beliefs. In my early recovery from drugs and alcohol I had to break down everything I had once believed about myself. It was a shattering experience. But I’ll never give up my new butterfly wings that form every season anew.
yes. Richard Rohr who has been a great guide for me through all this has said spiritual transformation (or any kind of transformation) basically follows a three step journey of Order, Disorder, and Reorder.
Props to you for writing this and being open about it. It took me years of struggle to leave, and then many years after that to be willing to be open about it. When your entire community is based in the church, it's a hard thing to even question it, let alone blaze a new path.
yes exactly. and you can be stuck in that world for so long, for your whole life even. the expectations and routine and certainty is just too scary to break out of. but once you do you wonder how you were ok with such narrowness and constriction.
my journey now has been to not disdain or dehumanize that culture or the past minnow but realize that it was all a part of my journey and i can take the good things from it and keep growing.
I like to think that religion is this system, world or construct that attempts to make God somewhat more comprehendible to the human mind. So in this sense, those set of practices, rituals and beliefs function in this manner - and that, at least to me, I can never fully 'understand' God and that's also beautiful. Thank you for making me think
yes. i love what you are saying here. good, healthy religion is supposed to help us endlessly discover the mystery that is God and our relationship with him. liturgy, services, rituals, all of that is there to help us come back to what really matters.
i think that's why i still say I'm a christian and why i still go to church each week. it's the best way i know how to draw closer to God.
every journey is different, but i can relate to the major strands here!
Brave and bold. Loved the wee linguistics interlude too.
thanks brother!
Reading this was like going back in time! I can't believe next year will be my 10th anniversary of leaving Catholicism (and essentially Christianity) behind. "These days, my relationship with Mystery and its endless discoveries feel more certain than the theological truths I used to study or debate over." YES!!! You couldn't have put it better and I couldn't agree more. Thank you for sharing this, Minnow. You'd be surprised (or perhaps kinda un-surprised) at how many folks share a similar story in this country.
you're right. i think I was writing this to those who are on the cusp or have gone through this. having wrestled with it in this may makes me feel so much more alive than just believing the orthodoxy
Again, "feel so much more alive" YES. I'm so proud of you for the dedication and time you poured into this so we all could feel less alone!
Beautiful, Minnow. So glad you're sharing your process of sorting through it all with us.
thank you for always being kind and honest in keeping me accountable to share this!
Such a beautiful piece, Minnow. I'm glad you ended up embracing the questions.
a MILLION thank you's for your help on this!!
A million thank you’s for trusting me with it!
“Let everything happen to you.
Beauty and terror.
Just keep going...
No feeling is final”
Rainer Maria Rilke
It can indeed be terrifying to question long-held beliefs. In my early recovery from drugs and alcohol I had to break down everything I had once believed about myself. It was a shattering experience. But I’ll never give up my new butterfly wings that form every season anew.
Thank you Minnow!
yes. Richard Rohr who has been a great guide for me through all this has said spiritual transformation (or any kind of transformation) basically follows a three step journey of Order, Disorder, and Reorder.
the disorder part is really really really shitty.
Thank you, Minnow, for giving words to what I feel. I'm also sitting with the question and have been grappling with it. I admire your courage.
that is such a kind thing to say Frances. thank you for that!
what has this articulation/question brought up for you? I'm curious to hear how you are wrestling with it!
Props to you for writing this and being open about it. It took me years of struggle to leave, and then many years after that to be willing to be open about it. When your entire community is based in the church, it's a hard thing to even question it, let alone blaze a new path.
yes exactly. and you can be stuck in that world for so long, for your whole life even. the expectations and routine and certainty is just too scary to break out of. but once you do you wonder how you were ok with such narrowness and constriction.
my journey now has been to not disdain or dehumanize that culture or the past minnow but realize that it was all a part of my journey and i can take the good things from it and keep growing.
I like to think that religion is this system, world or construct that attempts to make God somewhat more comprehendible to the human mind. So in this sense, those set of practices, rituals and beliefs function in this manner - and that, at least to me, I can never fully 'understand' God and that's also beautiful. Thank you for making me think
yes. i love what you are saying here. good, healthy religion is supposed to help us endlessly discover the mystery that is God and our relationship with him. liturgy, services, rituals, all of that is there to help us come back to what really matters.
i think that's why i still say I'm a christian and why i still go to church each week. it's the best way i know how to draw closer to God.