dear minnow,

a letter to myself for when shit hits the fan

morning light and incense in my living room

Give yourself the time to mourn and grieve—not just for what happened this week, but for everything else that’s happening in your life right now. Friendships are breaking apart, loved ones are missing, loved ones are dying, projects are ending, and next year feels so uncertain.

You are able to hold grief, hope, fear, love, worry, and gratitude all at once. You know how to feel it all the way through to the other side. You’ll need to do that now more than ever. So hold that space for yourself for as long as you need.

This isn’t the time to distract or numb yourself. Don’t give away your power or your convictions to someone else. There will always be someone who claims to know what’s really happening, who to blame, and what comes next. But come on—you know that no one really knows what’s going on, right? It’s all messy, and there’s so much outside of your control.

This isn’t the time to pontificate or explain away what happened. You can debate and argue politics all day long, but it won’t get you anywhere in doing the work to heal and love. It’s projections all the way down, and politics is just a mirror reflecting back what’s important to you, what you fear, and what you worry about. You can easily end up shouting at your own reflection.

Remember this, because this is reality, this is what’s true: people are lonely, lost, heartbroken, and confused. People are living in broken homes, bombed homes, flooded homes. People are told they are less than human because of the way they look, the way they feel, the way they think, the way they live their lives. People need to feel seen, heard, loved. They want to be a part of something greater than themselves. Some have taken that need and ratcheted up their fear and anxiety, becoming desperate for some kind of certainty and clarity, no matter how far from reality it may be.

In the face of all this, focus on doing the work that only you can do—holding space for others through photography and coaching, meeting them where they are. Not everyone can do that. You are a vessel of love, mercy, and grace. Do the work to keep that vessel clear. Do the work to ground yourself in your beautiful, true, and loving Presence. Do the work to be open to every moment and respond with love, grace, and possibility.

And underneath all of this, trust that God knows what you need and that He holds the future. Trust that He’s a good God, even though all this is happening.